Wrong again...

The many-universes interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that all possible alternative histories and futures are real. So in a universe out there somewhere, I am the ultimate arbiter of justice on planet earth.

I think of myself as being relatively humane and benevolent (apart from having a vitriolic secret blog about an innocent colleague, obviously). But my downfall is that I am too easily swayed by outward appearances. I fear my rule would turn out to be an inquisition-like reign of terror with summary executions based on the dress sense of the suspect as opposed to actual evidence.

When police arrested Joanna Yeates's creepy landlord last year on suspicion of her murder, I was utterly convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had done it.

How could he possibly not be a murderer with an insane comb-over like that? That kind of hairstyle seems to point to the wearer having profound mental problems. Plus it emerged that previous tenants had complained about him peeping into their windows at night. Bingo! Arrest without trial, swiftly followed by a public hanging would have been his fate if it were up to me.

How disappointing to discover that it was actually the far more ordinary-looking neighbour instead of the fantastically bizarre landlord who was the culprit.

Now it seems that DSK is about to be released without bail because his accuser has turned out to be hopelessly unreliable. This development would have come too late in Parallel Universe Sigma 720, I'd already have ordered his chemical castration on the grounds of being a bit of a sinister lecherous-looking old goat.