Not all handicaps are physical

Last night a friend and I explored an ambitious new bookshop. It contained multiple levels, many cosy reading areas with designer chairs, a playground, coffee shop, and even a champagne bar.

We'd ascended to the upper level via the stairs, but lazily decided to return to the ground floor in a fancy glass-walled elavator we'd spotted. Once we were inside, I tapped the down button but there was no movement. I noticed the door to the lift was not quite closed, so I pulled it firmly and turned the lock. Still the lift did not spring into action.

Pressing the down button again finally moved us a few reluctant inches, but the lift stopped abruptly when I removed my finger from the button. It was at this point that we noticed the many wheelchair icons helpfully arrayed inside the elevator. But we felt committed now, so with my finger glued to the button we proceeded to crawl to the ground at the roughly the speed of continental drift.

To our dismay though, there was no escape at the bottom because the exit door was locked with no latches or handles on our side. A bit of tentative tapping on the glass failed to attract the attention of some children milling around outside. Outright shrieking and hammering on the walls would be undignified. The only course of action was to begin the tedious journey back up, two non-handicapped idiots trapped in a giant fish tank riding up and down in slow motion, exposed to the gaze of the entire bookshop clientele.