In the Bush*

After a distracted last day ever at ********** (company name), and a modest farewell which left me reeking of various dodgy perfume brands due to being hugged by a series of female colleagues, I am on holiday for a week.

A kind friend has taken me away to her holiday pad in a game reserve adjoining the Kruger Park, and a great time is being had by all. Where the huge national game reserves have to idiot-proof their operations and manage risk as far as possible, the share-block holders in this enterprise are presumed experienced and responsible, and therefore in possession of their own open-top game viewing vehicles in which to trundle around.

This is great and at the same time slightly hair-raising. The big cats are not in a fenced-off section but roam freely amongst the other game (and the houses). Fortunately my hosts know what they are doing, and can tell when an elephant is feeling irritable and likely to try and overturn your vehicle. My bladder is a source of concern however. It’s an impossibility for me to get through a lengthy game-spotting expedition without needing the loo at least once, and it’s hard not to wee on your shoes while staring manically in every direction for lions and making sure you’re not about to squat on a scorpion.

Monkeys are also a problem. Constant vigilance is required to stop them making off with your possessions. Last night one of them pissed on us from a tree while we sat parked by the river watching some elephants (fortunately the canopy was on). But none of this is can blight the amazing experience of watching wild animals browsing right before your (relatively safe) balcony.

hey hey it's the monkees

*3G coverage is hard to come by so updates may be infrequent

Brilliantly framed iPhone photo