Blair Witch Weekend

Friends and I are setting off tomorrow for a long weekend in a secluded cabin surrounded by woods, booked (with admirable foresight) towards the end of last year.

A device has been optimistically packed which will smoke the trout we hope to tantalise out of the nearby lake. If that fails, we'll have to survive by foraging for grubs and fungi.

Not really. Chocolate digestive biscuits will provide all the nutrition we need.

We are definitely not taking a camcorder.